Post by hare on May 31, 2009 23:47:34 GMT -5
"Primus," Urbanrunner groaned to himself while he was sitting in a barely lit and lonely barstool in the makeshift bar that some of the former prisoners created. It wasn't a five star drinking establishment and the Energon tasted like bad crude oil, but it was a bar.
"What the Pit happened to me?" he mentally asked himself. "How did I manage to be this screwed up? And how far did I fall?" He takes a swig of his drink. He places his shotglass down on the table and he looks at himself at the hanging mirrors that was crudely put on the walls of the ranshack bar. He got his correct gender back, he should be happy. But....he doesn't know what to feel. He knows he got his gender back, but...something about being a mech again was off. When he was a femme, his mind was very much more clearer. He could think clearly again and every decision he made didn't made him physically cringe neither. He was so much free when he was a girl. How come he doesn't feel that way when he was a boy now? His mind is still the same, but it feels heavy. Burdened. Which was weird.
Ever since he joined that damned council, his thoughts wasn't his own and his actions were controlled. Primus, he hated himself for joining them. But he wanted to help the Dead End region of Polyhex and nobody was lifting a finger about it. He would convince himself, it was neccessary. With the Council and their resources, he can finally repair the Dead End and bring life to it again. That and finally get some recoginition he so worked so hard for. But what did he get? Being a mentally and emotionally broken Yes man for the Council Elders and being partially responsible for turning the people he was protecting into unwilling (And some willing) test subjects for the Protoform projects. And his name being dragged to the mud.
"I shouldn't be here," he muttered bitterly "I shouldn't." He than solemnly takes a gulp of his drink. He than pulls out the enhancer dart and longingly looks at it. Like he wants to use it.
"What the Pit happened to me?" he mentally asked himself. "How did I manage to be this screwed up? And how far did I fall?" He takes a swig of his drink. He places his shotglass down on the table and he looks at himself at the hanging mirrors that was crudely put on the walls of the ranshack bar. He got his correct gender back, he should be happy. But....he doesn't know what to feel. He knows he got his gender back, but...something about being a mech again was off. When he was a femme, his mind was very much more clearer. He could think clearly again and every decision he made didn't made him physically cringe neither. He was so much free when he was a girl. How come he doesn't feel that way when he was a boy now? His mind is still the same, but it feels heavy. Burdened. Which was weird.
Ever since he joined that damned council, his thoughts wasn't his own and his actions were controlled. Primus, he hated himself for joining them. But he wanted to help the Dead End region of Polyhex and nobody was lifting a finger about it. He would convince himself, it was neccessary. With the Council and their resources, he can finally repair the Dead End and bring life to it again. That and finally get some recoginition he so worked so hard for. But what did he get? Being a mentally and emotionally broken Yes man for the Council Elders and being partially responsible for turning the people he was protecting into unwilling (And some willing) test subjects for the Protoform projects. And his name being dragged to the mud.
"I shouldn't be here," he muttered bitterly "I shouldn't." He than solemnly takes a gulp of his drink. He than pulls out the enhancer dart and longingly looks at it. Like he wants to use it.